September 5, 2010 by teal
Straight Talk With Teal!-Making it! Single Person/Parent
In these challenging times so many of us have had to change “our ways” of doing things. It could mean something as simple as brown bag lunch v purchasing lunch or mid octane fuel v supreme octane fuel. I didn’t want to add the numbers in case I listed them wrong..ok heck why not 89 v 92…I think. But you get the picture! Along the way of my own skimming back I wanted to share or “Pay It Forward” some tips and thoughts about simply…..making it! and for more information on support and/or resources you may log onto www.showmethewayonline.com
I am reaching out mainly to those who are single because the dynamics can be vastly different in areas of income, emotional stability, and just overall support. I am always stunned when we as individuals lack information yet someone around us will have information we need that could help or aide us. You know the pay it forward thing. Is it just me, but when someone I know does not call me up and say hey I know you are looking to do this or that or I know a way to help or I have a number for you to call for those pants you wanted. Yes, something that simple. I am thinking you must not want me privy to the information. Or you just don’t care enough. I know that sounds harsh but then the other reasoning I come up with is that the other person is so self absorbed all they think about is them and their house or okay clueless to helping or just does not like to engage with the word “help”. I mean no matter what it is, it’s one of those things that makes me say…hmm!
There is this saying that a person could really want you to succeed or “make it” as long as you just don’t “make it” larger than them. Whatever the case I will move from why “your” own circle of friends or acquaintances cannot pass on information, help, knowledge that could benefit another. Another individual, another family, another household. And trust me the help I am talking about does not have to be that deep people.
Lets get a snapshot going of some tips and trades.
When I spoke to single parents whether by choice or other such as divorce or death of a companion, becoming ot being the “head of a household” can be an overwhelming task. My question is:
What is it that speaks to your “hello world”?
for me it is buying my stargazer lilies and waking up with all the blinds pulled so I can view the mountains and trees and hear the horses and birds singing and they do sing loudly!
It is my a.m shower and conversations with God. My affirmations of a purpose filled life and the desire to truly be a blessing to someone. I smile intentionally and always have. It would was so odd to me to witness success of others yet never see a smile that should radiate from such success. You know like how one would walk if all the bills were paid -on time. If you never had to choose between toilet paper and napkins. You could actually afford both at the same time. So for me early on in life it just felt better to wear a smile. Something begins to happen, it was like the child or person who had it all, and not just in material goods. Well inadvertently like old school parents would say, walk with confidence you will exude confidence. Wear your smile on the outside you will beam inside as well and permeate your surroundings with light.
Even in your singleness, smile! let your kids and others see you smile and change dark moments to dawn. Beyond what is for the soul, now your practical living can emerge.
Tips & Trades:
Not enough food to make it through the week? are you doing lunchables (nothing wrong with it. I still grab one on occasion) Try this: Get your loaf of bread and lunch meats or better yet a whole chicken for dinner and make a pot roast for example, now this is also your lunch for the next day. Your chicken can be cut up and made like a chicken salad and yum! a good ol beef sandwich. Don’t forget to add the barbeque sauce.
Tips & Trades:
Instead of little bag of chips in the variety case you can get 2 bags of your favorite chips and scoop just a handul out (it is probably all we need anyway) and place in baggies. Get a small thermos to pour the juice in from your gallon or even thermos for homemade soups or any warm leftovers like some kind of pasta dish. Oh speaking of pasta, my favorite is a Bowtie Pasta with Turkey Smoked Sausage or Turkey Kielbasa which I sautee seperately in a pan with chopped green onions. Then in a saucepan I fix black beans while also steaming some sweet corn. Once the Pasta is cooked/prepared, I season with olive oil of course, salt, fresh cracked pepper and Trader Joe’s 21 salute seasoning. (please bring back your Pasta seasoning) I then toss in a dish and add the smoked sausage, black beans, and corn. I make sure nice chunks of the sausage grace the top of the dish for presentation and finally sprinkle some parmesan cheese. I am telling you not only is this dish filling and delicious but under 13 bucks. The most expensive part of this meal is the Sausage at a lil over $3.oo per package. I get the pasta, beans and corn at Trader Joe’s at no more than $4.00.
Remember there are still ways to eat healthy even on a budget. Let’s take out whatever is your “junk” food and concentrate on eating “good” food in spite of. I get tired of hearing about the poor being unhealthy even if it is true. Beat the odds is what I say. Don’t be a part of any negative statistic. In this day and age we don’t have to “settle” but we must seek information as well as others providing information to that fellow friend or neighbor. That way we all can begin to experience our “hello world” moments.
other practical Tips & Trades:
For your daily living I want to pay forward is in the area of home energy. Companies may not want to share this information but for some gas and electric companies and I am sure, depending on location, they will not shut off any power to you on a friday or on holidays. Now why is this simple information of any value? have you ever experienced running around like crazy trying to collect the last 20 dollars to complete your bill payment that you have driven yourself and others in a tizzy? well stop if it is friday already. You as that single parent may need to buy immediately another days worth of food or medicine for your child and as far as I am concerned that should always come first. What a difference a day or two will make. Trust me with this calm you will get the extra 20 dollars but do go ahead and give what you can spare. After you pay that gas or electric bill then call customer service to first and please hear me on the “order” of doing things, first, inform the representative that a payment has been made. Now you can let them know you are short “x” amount, but what you paid is what you have available to you, yet you want to show good intention less your 20 dollars. Even if the rep is rude thank them for accepting the payment and you will call back to give an update. Sometimes you really need to just end the call if the rep is rude but you stay focused on accomplishing your goal. Doing something is always better than doing nothing even if the rep does not agree. Don’t let them steal away your positive and honest effort and remember most calls are being recorded by the companies so most representatives are trying to be more reserved in their speech as well. That is a good thing for us all.
Single person/parent. Many times when we do not have family members who are near by it is so easy to feel distant and alone.
Tips & Trades:
Have you tried Barnes & Noble? I love going there and almost always I become engaged in some conversation with another random person such as I. It is a tradition also for my daughter and I to go, even when she comes home from College ( she is a soph0more) she will ask when is our Barnes & Noble date. Okay now some kids/people may think it is corny…hey corny can be good. I know my young nieces always remind me they will, even before I ask. They always say, “auntie I already know you’re going to tell me to go or ask have if I have especially if they say, “I’m bored”. But here is what is fun to me. My daughter and I visit the Cafe inside (Starbucks) get out treats, find our books, her magazines and we find a spot, if not on the plush leather chairs or sofas then confortably on the floor and we are in our zone while eating cheesecake and me sipping my double short soy latte. Remember without fail we are gonna meet someone and spend time talking and next thing you know it is 3 hours later but not before we spend time in the children’s section since I love to collect children’s books. At times my daughter wants to sit me down and read me one of her favorite stories. I appease her corny and all.
So many outlets in a healthy way. I always say, keep your pulse connected to the community, to your world. No matter what the key is- to be intentional with your actions to live out loud. Glassware makes me happy not paper plates. I love Viva towels and get crazy if I settle. Its things I love to touch and it being soft to my touch. Sipping an occasional soda out off a straw in my house while eating turkey burgers and fries makes me feel like I am out at a fast food joint, or eating on my favorite dish which is all my dishes feels like I am enjoying fine dinning. I do not wait for guest to gather for me to pull out the best of anything. My best of what I have deserves “me” now and “I” it. I stress this a hundred times to my mother….I just have to let it go with her choice of plate and/or plastic. I like cute butter dishes even if I don’t have butter in it. Again it is something about the environment I can choose to create that allows me to wake up in the midst of life’s storms and still say “hello world” I am so grateful to be here!
My mother would say,” many times a poor man can do just as much as a rich man. One may have to just plan a lil longer, save a lil harder”. Whatever the issue you can make it out of and into your world of intentional living! My single friend my single parent.
Tips & Trades:
To those connected with family, blessed in information or by way of monetary means if you see or know of the single friend, the widowed or divorced, remember this from a card I once gave my parents as a child, it read something like- because you have given me so much especially your love, I am overflowing in that love and able to give to others.
It truly is that simple. The closet is overflowing let it stream to a person going on job interviews. My pantry is overflowing let me pack a box for the one who loss their job and has kids to feed. My chump change is overflowing let me turn the coins into dollars and buy an extra bus pass for someone. My child’s test prep books are overflowing let me pass on to this widow’s child who is trying to enter College. My utility bills are paid in full but I noticed my single struggling neighbor recently divorced is about to get their heat shut off. Let me pay their bill and give them heat. No one in my household eats leftovers. Dinner was overflowing, let me make another dinner presentation and give it away. My pocket is overflowing let me celebrate my friend with dinner and a movie or a spa day just for them for just accomplishing with little what I struggle with in having alot . I am overflowing with a new car, let me give them a break from walking to work and let them drive what is just sitting in my driveway. I am overflowing with support with a wife or husband and healthy children, let me take my friends child and run errands for them or with them, after all, I am overflowing I do have excess, now where can my blessings flow?
Now you get what I stated in the beginning. I have always wanted to wear my smile no matter what and exude my truth! and I feel and have always felt -such an overflow! even if my well has been a lil dry there is a drip that flows and it allowed me to Show You The Way! It is always something we can do. Isn’t it?