November 6, 2011 by teal
A friend stopped me as she saw me enter into a store. The conversation we had took on a life of its own. An hour later we were able to bottom line some issues she was heavily concerned with. How does she live positively when at home life is so negative? She desired some guidance and asked to “show her the way”. Here was my take.
Life is short. I remember reading a quote many many years ago which read, you only live life once but if you live life right, once is enough! so true I thought so I made it a point to intentionally live life as well as I possibly could. Now don’t get me wrong I am flawed and have “issues” but daily I love as well as choose to self assess. I believe if one truly desires to be a better someone, a healthy someone, a loving someone, you must go over your “person” and be conscious in your efforts to be a light in this world to yourself and others. Isn’t it true? It is so easy to be the opposite. To be toxic, cruel, catty, heartless. So in guiding my friend whereas it was concerning a very “dead” marriage filled with insults to her I suggested we go into the store and by her favorite flowers. This is what I call speaking to your “hello world”. It is that thing that makes you look forward to waking up and sitting at your table or lay in your bed with breakfast and a smile because you where responsible for your own personal sunshine. She agreed.
We then discussed her over-all well being. She would like to lose weight and knows she needs too. Her self-esteem is low beit the insults shouted at her on a regular basis. With two kids still at home how can she hold onto herself is what she cried out about. Again, what is it I asked her that she would like to do for herself if it had nothing to do with anyone else. She mentioned getting her hair styled. Also my friend wanted to have nice furniture, friends to come over or go out with. Simple, safe, fun entertaining. She honestly felt there was so much more and knew the kind of mate she was dealing with that would hinder this. She was flat out unattractive to him until it came to that thing, or doing that thing. ( you can figure out the “thing”). Since I believe so much in living your best self even if all by your self I had to really hone in and just give doses of realism to my friend. A few tips for the weary soul that wants to rise for any occassion.
We are going to get her hair styled. Color out the grey. Why not? She has long black hair with grey throughout including her bangs. I believe it will take years off her look. She will get hair trimmed. Her style she realizes is out dated. Ladies and gentlemen. It is not about being vain but sometimes we have to take a good look in the mirror and first affirm- we are wonderfully and beautifully made. I honestly believe in that. However, I realize we may want or need to tweek a few things here and there and that is okay especially if it will make us love and like ourselves more. We do need to love, like and appeciate ourselves before expecting someone else do so. Understand where I am coming from. I myself got braces in my adult years. My parents looked into it when I was young but never took care of it. On my own “tab” I eventually did, and let me reiterate it is not always about vanity. For instance as we get older things change including our teeth. I.e shifting, so I actually needed the braces to keep my teeth aligned properly and to avoid more dental issues in the future, or as I got older. Same with the issue of weight, which mine has always gone up and down. It is not vanity alone but for health reasons. Why not try and be our best self and I know we agree, clothes feel so much better, heck you feel so much better when you feel “in tact” sorta say.
So my friend has asked that I head a woman’s group and I obliged. One of my greatest joys is empowering us as people, parents, consumers and women. When I express and/or suggest anything it comes from more than not, my own personal journey and it is a road that worked. Obstacles overcome, mountains climbed. Sharing how we can have those “Hello World” moments could raise a spiritually dead person to life. My girlfriend and someone reading this desires to find their self again, your joy, and you will. We will learn to consistently be honest with ourselves even when it hurts. Honest about what we could do to better ourselves. For some it may be eating healthier, exercising more, going to the dentist. For others it may be gaining a more positive environment with friends, co workers, family. My question to all of us is, what are we waiting for? is it more money, time, sheer “will” or courage…to improve, to change. Lets recognize and hopefully agree together on these simple truths.
A tip: In regards to more money, payment plans with your dentist or doctor do still exist. Eating healthier, just do it, one day at a time more veggies than protein and carbs for instance. Is it positive environment, seek it selfishly and intentionally for there is no price to pay for peace, I say or sanity. We all need it.
A tip: My getaway is to Barnes & Noble, a walk in a park or the Marriott Residence Inn. It’s different levels for me. When it is intense I do a weekend vacation even in my hometown and I just spend time with me.
I think we all can get comfortable with where we are and accept that change will never come, but as long as you have another day on this earth, change for the better can always happen. I want my friend, myself and others to appreciate the days in our life as if it could be our last. I have mentioned before, sometimes when you think you really have it hard, you will meet someone whose story out does yours. Or, go visit the a childrens cancer ward, hold a baby addicted to drugs due to the mothers addiction, visit your local homeless shelters and volunteer. It’s all about perspective. You will realize while you are feeling a lil down and out, you are alive! with hope left.
Be the captain of your ship, the CEO of your life. Embrace it, improve it, love it, accept it and ultimately live your best life but I suggest we live it honestly. I.e we accept the change we need to make and just keep it moving. We don’t lie to ourselves about the changes that could help us but we are fair to ourselves. We accept we all are a work in progress but are inspired to reinvent, invest, and cherish with a great deal of effort the best we can be until…the end of our days. Think of that- end….it may be just what you need to fuel your new beginnings. I celebrate us! Cheers! and my girlfriend has got me, so she will be just fine if she allows herself…to be fine!